March 11, 2013

He's Just Not that Into You

I love the movie he's just not that into you.

But I hate how it starts. Why in the world do we set girls up to fail. He is mean to you because he has a crush on you?!? Well then no thank you, I would prefer to not have that person like me. Oh the silly things we tell each other and ourselves. My favorite "He is intimidated by you." Well, I don't want that person either. We (meaning society AND each other) set ourselves up to get hurt and we have been trained to do it. Sucks.

So the real reality that NO ONE wants to talk about is that sometimes he just isn't that into you. But what I have started to realize is that also makes it okay for YOU to not be into him. Isn't that a relief! Just because a man is into you does not mean you have to be into him. Great, right.

Once you realize and accept that fact, it allows you to be picky. Another thing that is hard for single women to accept and do. We think that because we are single, we are not allowed to be picky and have high standards. But, in my opinion, we should be picky! Think about it, dating can (and hopefully at some point), will lead to marriage. Would you rather marry someone that fell into your lap or someone who you 'picked' and who you are so happy to be with. Patti Stanger, millionaire matchmaker who is a ball buster but also has a pretty high success rate, says you should have a list of non negotiable items. This is crucial (and sometimes difficult to stick with). If you want kids, don't date someone who says they don't want kids (accepting this a long time ago would have saved me at least a year of a 'bad' relationship).

What I am trying to say is, have high standards and EXPECTATIONS for your love life. Being single isn't a curse but a time to figure out who you are and what you want (thanks Paster P for that advice). If you want someone to call you instead of text, expect that. I am so tired of feeling like I have to lower my expectations because of what is supposed to be acceptable. Figure out what you want and wait for it.

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